Ahoy, landlubbers and scallywags! Now’s your chance to come aboard!

This weekend, September 7-9, 2012 is the Tall Ships Festival in Dana Point, California where there will be assembled a collection of sailing vessels from all over the globe.

Come on down and see a mock-cannon naval battle, chat with some pirates, (and it’s not even Talk Like A Pirate Day!) and, best of all, meet the master builder himself, craftsman Richard Norris – the mastermind of Handcrafted Model Ships. As a tip, before heading down to Dana Point, practice your pirate parlance. The internet can help you here because of International “Talk Like a Pirate Day.” Receiving instruction on how to talk like a pirate can make it second nature in no time… laddie. Now you can seek out Mr. Norris and impress him with your pirate-speak, which is something of which he never gets tired.

Don’t worry about seeming like a poseur. After all, this is about letting loose and having some fun, right? Nobody’s really a Caribbean pirate or knight of the realm. Of course, you also don’t want to be that guy in flip-flops and a Hawaiian shirt, winking and pointing at the hula dancers going, “Arr, Mateys!” which, at a distance, just looks like you’re a confused transient. (And, yes, there will be hula dancers.)

So, put some thought into it. Don a costume, put on an accent. After all, Halloween’s just around the corner, so consider it practice.

Besides the obvious fun of costumed dramatics, swashbuckling and cannonades, it’s a great opportunity to get that Handcrafted Model Ship you’ve been eying for a while now. (Don’t lie. Like a Jamaican gypsy stowaway, we can see into your soul.)

We know you don’t want to pass up the chance to have the Handcrafted Model Ship you’ve always wanted sold to you by Richard Norris himself; a rare opportunity, as he’ll be readily available right at the show to answer any of your questions, whether it’s about our wonderfully large inventory, how the man himself has crafted these beautiful ships. Did I mention there’ll also be discounts of up to 70% off? Huzzah, indeed!

Model ships are a must-have at this event, and topping our list for 2012 is the Queen Anne’s Revenge. (Hey, you’d be pretty teed off if your husband had you beheaded, too!)

Oh, wait – wrong Anne? Nevermind. While her beef may’ve been lost to history, one thing’s undeniable: the ship which bears her name (and ire) has a fascinating history, as the one chosen by the notorious pirate Blackbeard. You’ll also notice her striking resemblance to the aptly named “Black Pearl”, captained by none other than Jack Sparrow in the Disney “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise. So, she’s the quintessential pirate’s ship – and waiting to set sail in your living room.

Feeling patriotic as election time draws near?

Bring aboard the Handcrafted Model Ship of the USS Constitution. As it just recently sailed again under its own power, it’s an excellent, timeless example of American ingenuity and craftsmanship. Go, U.S.A!

Named by none other than George Washington, it’s the only ship from its era still in active service as a part of the modern U.S. Navy. Over the course of its more than two centuries of history, it defended American merchant shipping in the Mediterranean, defeated British rival ship HMS Guerriere in the War of 1812, and served as an American ambassador of goodwill once the Age of Sail had come to a close. Wow.

Talk about your mascot for liberty, freedom of enterprise and longevity. It’s the USS Constitution all the way!

So, why not don some pirate digs, fly some colors, grab a cutlass and annoy your pet parrot by incessantly asking if it’d like the saltine you found in the sofa cushion?

You’ll be much better received by the folks down at Dana Point – especially at the Handcrafted Model Ships booth.

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